


Boundaries Are Made to Be Broken

by quellthefire



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Boundaries, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Tony, Love Confessions, M/M, Steve confesses his feelings, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 05:44:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17616626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quellthefire/pseuds/quellthefire
Summary: “I wish I could tell you that for real. When you’re awake. But I guess this has to be enough.”Tony’s become a master at avoiding Steve. He knows he has to set rigid boundaries to protect himself, and to protect Steve. He always ends up hurting the people he cares about. But then Steve invites him to watch movie, and they end up falling asleep. Tony wakes up to a confession he never imagined he’d hear.





	Boundaries Are Made to Be Broken

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [Boundaries Are Made to Be Broken - Traduction](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19280857) by [Rikka_kun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rikka_kun/pseuds/Rikka_kun)



> This was such a sweet, intimate story to write. I love all the quiet moments where Tony is alone with his thoughts. I hope you do too!

“I sleep better when you’re around.”

It was barely a whisper. Tony’s eyes fluttered open and he could see the top of Steve’s head, hair ruffled and pressed against Tony’s chest.

They had been dozing off midway through the movie, and Steve had somehow ended up nestled into Tony.

Last he remembered, there were big explosions and buildings crumbling on the TV. Now it was dark, the DVD title screen had timed out, and the TV had automatically turned off.

Steve had picked the movie, full of action and handsome leading men. Tony had to use a lot of willpower not to roll his eyes when he suggested it, but Steve looked so hopeful and happy. Who was he to deny him? He would never admit it, but he wanted to make Steve happy.

Yes, they argued. Constantly. Sometimes it got so bad that the rest of the Avengers would wander out of the room to go have lunch, or play on their phones, until they had come to resolution. Usually that involved one of them sulking and the other smug and proud.

But it wasn’t real. At least to Tony. It was all a show, and one that he had honed carefully. Steve was all about the rules and his strict code of morals. Tony knew he needed someone to challenge him. Someone to keep him in check when he went too far.

Rules were great and all, but they weren’t especially functional when you’re dealing with Nazis and Aliens. Steve needed Tony for balance. At least that’s what he told himself.

And hey, if it meant that it kept Nat and Clint and the rest of those gossip hounds off his trail then all the better. The more boundaries he could put in place the better. He loved Steve, but like hell would he ever act on it.

Boundaries were important. Crucial, even. Boundaries kept them alive. Kept them from making stupid decisions out in the field, and made it easier to handle if someone didn’t come back. And God, he couldn’t handle it if Steve was the one to not make it back this time. Steve was his opposite in so many ways, but Tony needed Steve for balance as well.

Tony knew how the world saw him. Charming, funny, a little childish and petty. Carefree about money and women and booze. Petulant in the face of commands. Insanely smart in a way that frustrated everyone around him. He had carefully cultivated that persona. It was his true armor. The mask that protected him from feeling anything that mattered. But Steve mattered. Steve mattered more than anything. And he felt shattered when he thought about it.

It was easy at first, to set boundaries with Steve. They were so different in personality and approach. Tony quickly learned just what to say to piss him off, and how to de-escalate it when he’d gone too far. He knew exactly which words to use to get that little vein in his neck throbbing. But every once in a while, he’d indulge himself. He’d let Steve in just a tiny bit more, and it was like he could breathe again.

He’d offer a quiet compliment at the end of a stressful day of meetings. He’d help Steve pack up the mission gear when everyone else had made themselves scarce. He’d let Steve pick a movie when neither of them could sleep.

And that’s exactly what had happened tonight. Tony was no stranger to late nights, throwing himself into his workshop, tinkering with his suit, or Sam’s wing mechanism, or developing a better fabric for Nat’s jumpsuit. Lately he’d been using it as an excuse, though. It was easier than making up excuses to not be around them. Around Steve. Better to let them see him as an obsessive mechanic than to know why he actually avoided dinners with them.

But then he’d gotten hungry tonight, and wandered his way towards the shared kitchen to find a snack. He hadn’t ever had dinner, he realized. Had he even had lunch? It was all a bit of a blur.

And then he was standing in the dark kitchen, a tall figure backlit by the open fridge. Steve. Tony cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the sudden realization that he’d have to interact with him if he had any hopes of finding something to eat.

He’d momentarily considered going back to the workshop, pretending that he hadn’t just seen Steve Rogers, shirtless and sleepy. But then his stomach had given an annoying cramp and he knew this had to happen.

So he cleared his throat, and waited for him to notice. Only, Steve didn’t seem to hear him. He was inspecting what appeared to be a half used carton of milk. Steve opened it, took a sniff and it was clearly past date by his reaction. He turned to pour the spoiled milk down the kitchen sink, and that’s when he saw Tony, standing uncomfortably in the threshold. Tony was tense and still. He hadn’t thought this far through.

“I was going to have cereal. But the milk’s gone bad. I think I’m the only one who ever uses it,” Steve explained quietly.

“Well you know Thor’s got to watch his girlish figure and all.” Sarcasm was easy. Tony let out a breath he’d been holding for far too long. Just keep it light and move on, he told himself.

Steve’s face lit up with a grin, surprised at Tony’s joke, and it made Tony feel warm. Like the sun was shining just for him. Steve had a way of making him feel like that.

Boundaries.

Boundaries are important, Tony told himself.

“Anyway, where have you been all night? Working on that new blaster for your suit?”

“Yeah, something like that,” Tony muttered. In reality he’d spent the evening staring at the wall, creating an extensive list of the reasons it was better to let Steve think he couldn’t stand him. It had been a painful and futile exercise, but Tony felt like that’s all he deserved. He had a way of hurting everyone around him. It was easier to control the hurt he doled out than to let it run wild.

Steve continued on. If he noticed how quiet Tony was tonight, he didn’t show it. “I was thinking about watching a movie. You wanna join? I know you probably have stuff to get back to in your workshop, but if you need a break...” His sentence trailed off into far too many beats of silence.

“Yes. I’d love to.” Fuck. Had he really just said that? What happened to the hours he’d just spent developing a very clear plan on how to handle the Steve situation? But Steve, standing there shirtless and perfectly muscular and toned was another story.

He’d learned to look the other way when Steve had to change out of his suit after missions. Tony had forgotten just how perfect his body was. How utterly unmarred it was, thanks to the serum that had made him who he was. How achingly much he wanted to touch him.

And then Steve was at the pantry, rifling through the shelves and pulling out a microwave popcorn bag, presenting it proudly.

“You hungry?” Steve asked, in the dim kitchen light.

“Starving,” was all Tony could reply.

It had taken a little doing to get the popcorn right. One of the unfortunate side effects of Steve being on ice for 70-something years was that he didn’t always have a great grasp on modern technology. He put a bag into the microwave, pressing the popcorn setting button with a firm finger, and refused to listen when Tony told him it would burn.

“It’s literally the setting for popcorn. On the microwave. We are microwaving popcorn, Tony! It’s the setting you use!”

Tony had tried to muscle his way past Steve, who was firmly planted to block the appliance. That had been futile. Instead, he had to wait impatiently, as Steve smiled smugly down at him, his grin turning to a grimace the moment the popcorn started burning. The smell was disgusting.

“Why would they make a setting for popcorn that you can’t use? It’s the popcorn setting!” Steve was on the verge of sulking.

“Because God is a fickle deity, and likes to make us suffer,” Tony responded with a grim tone. He cracked a smile. “I don’t know why, Steve. I just know that every microwave I’ve ever owned has a popcorn setting, and they’re all equally awful at cooking popcorn. I learned to just put the cook time on for three minutes and listen for the kernels to stop popping. As soon as you hear the noise stop, that’s when it’s done.”

Steve seemed dubious, but finally relented to let Tony past him. Within a few minutes Tony had cooked a new bag to near perfection. It smelled like butter and salt and heaven. Or at least what Tony imagined heaven would smell like.

“There’s a reason they call me a genius you know.” Tony knew this was treading on thin ice, but it was past midnight and he hadn’t eaten for hours. He’d blame this on exhaustion and hunger tomorrow morning.

“You’re awfully stupid for someone so smart,” Steve teased back. It wasn’t a great comeback, but it still made Tony smile. He liked this. The familiar teasing. The bad jokes about each other. It felt, almost like friendship.

Boundaries, he reminded himself.

When they got to the couch, Tony made a point of sitting at the far end of the couch, away from Steve as much as physically possible. He knew it probably seemed rude, but he’d let himself slip too much, and he needed to reset the physical boundary between them. He needed some sense of control.

The team had a large array of movies and TV shows on shelves in the living room Mostly thanks to Sam and Rhodey. Those two were obsessive collectors.

Steve was crouched in front of the shelves, eyes darting across the spines of each DVD, “What sounds good? I’ve never really seen you watch anything, so I don’t know what you like.” Steve looked a little too eager to please. It made Tony uncomfortable. But that warmth didn’t go away.

“Whatever you want to watch is fine. Seriously.”

Steve frowned at that, pausing a beat to think of how to respond. He looked like he was about to argue, and then stopped himself. “Let’s watch this, then,” he said, holding up a mid 2000’s action movie.

Of course Steve Fucking Rogers would choose that. He was unfailingly predictable.

“Sure, sounds good.” Steve looked pleased, and Tony could practically feel the sunbeams coming his way. It was embarrassing how much he responded to Steve’s happiness.

After inserting the disc and fiddling with the remote, Steve settled back on the couch, pulling a blanket around himself and adjusting his position to get comfortable.

“Do you want a blanket too? I always get cold halfway through a movie.”

“Uhm, no. I’m fine. Thanks though.” It sounded more robotic than he’d hoped, but honestly, Tony was struggling to keep calm. There was something so sweet and perfect about this powerful man curled up on the couch, wrapped in a fluffy blanket.

Tony wanted to be wrapped up with him. He wanted to feel his skin pressed up against Steve’s. Wanted to know if it was like static or softness to touch him. It scared him how badly he wanted to know. He was terrified he wouldn’t be able to stop himself.

So he sat stiffly at his end of the couch, way too self-conscious of the angle of his elbows and the placement of his hands. Tony could fake being relaxed and calm. Most of the time. Something about Steve made that fly out the window. He was hyper-aware of his body. It was excruciating.

The movie started, and Tony found his mind wandering. Back to thoughts of Steve. The way he looked in those sleep pants, riding low on his perfectly sculpted hips. That hint of a V on his lower stomach. It was all so distracting.

Tony didn’t like distraction. He had become the man he was today by being focused to a fault. Sometimes that focus had taken the form of doing things to stick it to dear old dad, or whatever hot redhead was around his arm, but he’d always been goal oriented. Steve, however, Steve wasn’t a goal, or at least an attainable one. He was a distraction. A dream that Tony knew he didn’t deserve to have come true. And yet, Tony was sitting here next to him, an arm’s length away, and he wanted nothing more than to curl up next to him, feel the solidness of his body pressed against him. He couldn’t let himself get too close. It wasn’t safe for either of them. Better to keep him at a distance.

They continued watching the movie. Tony slowly, minutely, unclenched his jaw, and relaxed his spine, and shifted the tiniest bit closer. He should make himself more comfortable, right? He reached for the popcorn between them, careful still to keep his hand from touching Steve’s as they each grabbed handfuls.

About half-way through, when the movie’s action started ramping up into death defying jumps and burning buildings, Tony couldn’t help but yawn.

It had to be three or four in the morning. And he’d hardly slept for days. He didn’t want to be rude, but this movie really wasn’t his taste. Steve had been so excited to have Tony watch it, and he felt a little guilty for how good it felt to close his eyes for a few brief moments.

Tony could feel Steve shift on the couch next him, slouching more, angling his body closer to him. It made his breath hitch and the warmth returned. He looked sleepy, Tony observed. His eyes were getting less intent, more glazed, and Tony knew he probably looked the same.

Steve quietly moved the now empty bowl onto the floor beneath them, careful not to spill any unpopped kernels. He did just about everything carefully. It was something Tony loved about him. It made the easygoing smiles he gave feel so much more special. Like they were just for him.

Tony was struggling to follow along with the film. He kept closing his eyes, intending to just rest them for a few moments, and then a round of bullets being fired would make him snap awake, confused and annoyed.

Steve wasn’t faring much better. He was slumped into the back of the couch, clearly dozing off

If Steve was falling asleep, then there was no reason to fight it, Tony reasoned. He was exhausted, and he couldn’t stay awake any longer. It felt so good to just close his eyes and sink against the cushions, letting sleep overtake him.

“I sleep better when you’re around” it was barely audible, but Tony knew he’d heard it right. He’d been stirring out of unconsciousness, and Steve’s sleepy voice had jarred him awake.

Tony didn’t reply, trying to control his breathing, heart pounding wildly.

“I wish I could tell you that for real. When you’re awake. But I guess this has to be enough.” He could feel the heat of Steve’s body, smushed up against him, a mess of soft skin and blanket. Tony could feel his own arm wrapped around Steve, his grip soft and delicate. It was disorienting and sublime all at once.

“You’re always trying to run away,” Steve kept talking, his voice low and husky. “I used to think you hated me. Now I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder if it’s just for show. You don’t go to such great lengths to avoid anyone else. But maybe I’m just reading too much into this.”

Tony’s mind was racing. This was all too much. Too many boundaries had been slashed and burned. Steve was snuggled against him for God’s sake. When did that happen? He guessed that Steve must have leaned against him as they were sleeping, and Tony had instinctively wrapped his arm around him. And now Steve was talking to him, completely unaware that Tony could hear him. He felt a stab of guilt at letting Steve continue talking. If he was better man he’d pretend to wake up, not let him keep spilling his guts to a seemingly sleeping Tony.

“I didn’t like you at first, you know? I thought you were pompous and immature. I saw you the way everyone else did. But then I got to know you, saw your generosity, your need to make everyone else’s life better, even if it’s to the detriment of your own. Is that why you’re always making improvements to our suits and weapons? Cause it’s the only way you know how to show you care?” Steve sighed and trailed his fingers along Tony’s arm. A feather-light touch that made his skin hum.

“Honestly, I love our arguments. You make me so angry, but I love it. I think I’m falling in love with you. But you can’t even stand to be in the same room as me most days.”

Tony’s heart was pounding. Surely Steve could feel it, feel the heat thrumming though his veins, the electric static of where their skin touched. Tony certainly could. His brain was on fire, trying to process everything.

“It wouldn’t hurt so bad if we could just be friends, even. I could handle that. I don’t expect you to feel the same way, but God I wish you did.”

“I do.”

Tony could feel his heart stuttering. He had said that. Outloud. Steve had heard him, surely. The gentle touches on his arm halted. Fuck. He had really said that.

“What?” was Steve’s only response.

“I-i do feel the same way.” Tony’s voice was shaky. It was nothing like his normal cocky bravado. He had gone deathly still, terrified of the words coming out of his mouth.

“I don’t hate you, the complete opposite actually. I just. I just had to put up boundaries. Had to keep myself from getting too close. Because I knew I’d fuck it all up if I didn’t.”

Steve was just as still, his previously even breathing haltered just a bit.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“How much did you hear?”

“Enough.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

There was a silence that grew between them. Tony was frozen, afraid to move even a fraction. This felt like a hallucination. A fever.

“I’m sorry,” Tony finally said, breaking the silence. “I should have done better. I’m sorry I made you think I hated you.”

“I think I knew deep down that wasn’t what it was. Or at least I wanted to believe it wasn’t. So what now?”

Tony could feel Steve stirring beneath his arm, adjusting his face to look up at Tony. “I don't know,” he answered honestly. He took a steadying breath and opened his eyes. Steve was peering up at him, hints of sleep still clouding his expression. He was beautiful.

“I guess we have a lot to figure out.”

Tony nodded, “We’ve got time, I guess. We don’t have to rush into anything.”

“I’d like to kiss you,” Steve’s cheeks flushed as he said it, but he kept his gaze steady on Tony.

Tony tried to think of a smart comeback. He should have been able to say no. To crack a joke and keep his composure. He felt a lump forming in his throat, tightening.

Steve leaned in and gently, softly pressed his lips to Tony’s. It was delicate. Nothing like the kisses Tony was used to. Steve was so strong and powerful, and he was kissing Tony like he might break him. And Tony felt like he was a little broken. Not by Steve’s kiss, but by himself. He’d spent so long trying to run from this. Trying to logic his way out of this moment. Of this single perfect moment. He’d been so afraid to let something good happen. To let someone be a part of him. And then Steve came along and shattered that with a single, soft kiss.

And it made Tony want to bask in the warmth that was Steve Rogers, to lean in to the way it felt to be kissed like this. He had no clue what would happen after all this. But he was okay with that, in this moment here with Steve, letting himself be kissed, believing for once in his life that he was good enough for this.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Emotionally Insecure/Damaged Tony is quickly becoming my favorite thing to write. Followed closely by Supportive/Gentle Steve. Definitely gonna be a theme in my future stuff I think!


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